Tuesday, May 14, 2019

Functioning Poorly


Mental health issues are such a catch-22. Without the meds, I’m a hot mess. On the meds, I’m tired and apathetic. Perhaps it’s time to change my ‘cocktail’. But then again, the process of changing meds is a long and occasionally miserable one. And sometimes you have to repeat it several times before finding a new drug (or drugs) that actually work. I’m getting by okay these days, so it’s hard to get motivated to change anything. Of course, at the moment, it’s hard to get motivated to do much of anything most days. Even with my sleeping pills, I’m not waking up feeling like I’ve had anything even remotely close to a restful night’s sleep. I’m wrung out. Worn out.

It probably goes without saying, but being permanently tired and unmotivated is not helpful at work. I know I have loads I could be doing right now, but I just can’t make myself focus. To be honest, just writing this is a bit of a strain. I keep reminding myself that some days are better than others, but that doesn’t really help me in this moment. I don’t really figure anyone reads this, but if you do, do you have any experience with this sort of thing? Any suggestions? Tips for getting/staying motivated? Or do I really have to go through the medicine-changing process? Ugh. Maybe the improving weather will help. Maybe I’m being a doofus.

In other news, Dr. Husband and I are driving to TN after work this evening. Going to visit the fam and see my baby brother graduate. Should be a good time. If I can stay awake. :P

As usual, nothing particularly interesting to say, just trying to get back into the habit of regular writing.

Take care, friends. And remember:

Just relax into it…

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